I didn’t come up with the joke in the title but I nearly turned blue from laughing so hard while watching the now famous SNL TSA Security skit. (Catch it on YouTube if you haven’t seen it yet: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykzqFz_nHZE)

If your job requires you to fly often, then you probably have some complaints about the TSA and security checkpoint lines. It’s probably the number one conversation between strangers at airports these days. Everybody can commiserate while swapping ridiculous stories.

If your job is to analyze and test security, then you probably have even more to say about the “appearance” of security vs. real security. One of best security minds blogs about airport security quite often: (Bruce Schneier http://www.schneier.com/cgi-bin/search/search.pl?Terms=tsa&Realm=blog )

Recently my Tartar Control Whitening Crest with Scope toothpaste was confiscated. This toothpaste must rank high on the banned substance list because it’s both a liquid and a gel (according to the label http://www.crest.com/products/liquidGels.jsp) I was quite distraught because this toothpaste is one of the most important tools for a security consultant. I’m trying to keep airports safe; instead of carrying both mouth wash and toothpaste, I can maintain minty freshness (and whiten teeth) in one compact package.

The problem is that the net weight is 4.6 ounces which is 1.6 ounces over the dangerous toothpaste limit. I didn’t think that was a problem because someone with a GED could use their eye-sight and see through the clear container noticing that I only had a third of this wonderful stuff left. WRONG! — I protested, it didn’t matter. “We go by what the container says sir” —

While later sitting down to tie my shoes on the Dulles airport people mover I looked up to notice what appeared to be a rather large gerber or spyderco knife clipped to the hip of an airport employee.

I wonder if I made friends with this guy if he could hook me up with some toothpaste. (Liquid or gel preferred.)

–higB